This weekend I lost my title. I was once the funniest member of our family. No more. I have been usurped. I have been dethroned. Emma Jane delivered more one-liners, quick witted comments, and hilarious insights than I can even remember. I do not do her justice with my poor memory.
She really found her rhythm this weekend. We were having conversations and ZING! Cue the 9 year old with a great one-liner. And it took us all by surprise and we laughed even harder because the delivery was perfectly timed and given by a 9 year old! Wit can not be taught. She just found her groove and went with it.
We had out of town guests staying with us this weekend. Tim and Bri came in from New Jersey. Tim has an infectious and very loud laugh. Before he arrived Emma Jane was preparing Lucy for how loud it would be. She said that they probably wouldn't be able to get any sleep until the adults went to sleep because Mommy would be making Tim laugh and Tim's laugh would be rattling the windows. But she was slightly wrong. The loudest laughs did indeed come from Tim, but the person causing those raucous outbursts was Emma Jane. And she delivered them with the most matter of fact face. As we all grabbed our bellies because we hurt so much she just sat there in repose waiting for the noise to die down so she could deliver the second wave. She killed.
Tim and I met when he was a third year medical student. I was walking down a hallway and he was talking to someone when I overheard him say "tiller and rudder". I walked up to him and interrupted his conversation and said "my name is Emily and what did you just say about a sailboat?". The rest is history. He came to our lake 2 days later on Saturday and brought his boat. We were out sailing when the wind died and we motored over to the "green goose" and asked if they needed a tow back to shore. He had dinner with us that evening and started crewing with Mike on race days. He met others at our lake and made fast friends. When he graduated from med school we lost him to residency in Chicago. But we still kept in touch and he and his lovely bride Bri asked Emma Jane to be their flower girl.
On a beautiful, cloudless day we loaded up Tim and Bri and Sue and Cassie and went sailing. It was perfect. We had great friends who would rather be on a boat than any other place on earth. We had great weather and the lake almost to ourselves. This is Cassie. Emma Jane was the flower girl in her wedding which you can read about here.
We love Cassie. She was a strong, confident, independent girl. Now she is a strong, confident, independent woman. And her husband is serving his country and won't be back for a year. Whew...that is one tough girl right there.
These are our dear friends Tim and Bri. We were meant to meet.
As I mentioned earlier, Emma killed. She had us all in stitches. We scared the gulls away we laughed so hard.
Something unusual happened on Sunday. Emma Jane got seasick. She was down below playing with her sister and the waves were choppy and she got motion sickness. She put on her life jacket and came up top and was very quiet. She was staring at the horizon and I knew something was wrong. Then she turned to the back of the boat and lost all her lunch. This has never happened before. I was sad for her and explained that everyone on board had gotten seasick at one time or another (I'm actually not sure Mike ever has). After about 7 minutes of recovery and washing her mouth out with water she quietly delivered another zinger to reenter the conversation. Tim Teel said "she's baaacckk". And just like that our little comedian was feeling better.
I tell this story so you will know why this picture is so funny. I was taking a picture of Tim and Bri (see above) when I asked Emma Jane to join the photo. As she walked across the boat Tim smarted off with a comment about vomiting or not vomiting. As her mama, I immediately thought that her feelings might be hurt by Tim's comments. But without missing a beat she grabbed his hat off his head and did this...
We all erupted in laughter again. I will move over now and make room for the new queen of comedy. Consider the torch passed.
When Emma Jane was three years old, we had three different "incidents" in Target.
1. At this time in my life I had two computers at home, (Mac and PC) both with huge monitors. So Emma Jane thought I had one big computer, except she didn't say computer quite right. We were in the stationery section of Target when she saw a store clerk using a small net-book to do inventory. It was tiny. Emma was not impressed with his small computer. She walked over to him and pulled on his pant leg. When she had his attention she pointed to me and said "my Mama has a BIG pooter". I just smiled and nodded while I mouthed the words "yea...it's huge". What else could I do?
2. Also that same summer, we would jump off the back of the boat and swim back to the ladder and she always wanted to race. She would dog paddle as fast as she could and we would say how we were going to beat her to the ladder. One day we were walking down the big aisle when she suddenly said "Mama, I will race you to the toy section!" So I was feeling playful and started to chase her. She took off running yelling "don't beat me, Mama...don't beat me!" She meant 'don't beat me to the toy section'. As I chased her down the aisle I saw several moms give me the evil eye because they thought I was about to hit my child. I did not beat her...
3. We were getting a new camera battery at the electronics section of Target. A young man was helping me and 3 year old Emma Jane was bored. I was wearing a skirt and Emma was behind me and she decided to put my skirt over her head. Now for the record, I was wearing underwear (very small underwear) when she exclaimed from underneath my skirt "Mom! You are supposed to have panties on!!!!" No less than six people turned to look at me and the battery guy dropped the camera and the battery onto the glass counter top. As the battery rattled against the glass, I had to resist the urge to explain to the people who had heard her, that in fact, I WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR. I just grabbed the camera, pulled my 3 year old out from under my skirt and held my head high as I left the store.
We have turned a corner in our relationship. If you are still coming to this blog to read about our little part of the world then you must know that from this day forward, the filter is off. We must be friends. We must be close. I must know you well enough to overshare. Just so you know. Consider yourself warned.
In my circle of friends and colleagues I am famous for my stories. The craziest stuff happens to me. And some really embarrassing things too. But probably embarrassing things happen to you as well. However, I bet you don't tell everyone. You probably keep those things to yourself. You probably edit yourself and decide that some stories are best left untold. Well, not me.
I am going to try to retell some of the best stories in the next few weeks. Most of you have heard these, but some of you have not. And since this is mostly a journal for myself, I feel it is important to record these in detail. (Sorry, Mike!)
There are so many categories. Stories involving kids, stories involving poop (I told you...I warned you), stories that prove that I really am half blonde. Where to start...
This past weekend we went camping. We packed up our truck in Tulsa and drove over to the Lazy E Arena near Guthrie. We went to the Wilderness Expo that is put together by the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation. We spent the day learning about bats, spiders, migrating birds and fish. Emma Jane got to shoot a BB gun and both girls shot a bow and arrow.
Emma got two bulls-eyes and one shot right off of bulls-eye. Her dad might be taking her for target practice soon.
Mike took the girls in a kayak and we ran into our friends Sean and Amy! What a nice surprise!
After a fun day at the Expo we drove about two hours to the Salt Plains State Park to camp for the night. We got there a little before dusk and quickly made camp next to the Great Salt Plains lake. This area was covered by an ocean in prehistoric times and the salt is left over from the sea bed. The lake is a salt lake with about half the salinity of the oceans.
The campground was fairly empty and we had a secluded spot near the sandy beach. We didn't realize it as we were making camp but we were pitching our tent right in the middle of a field of burrs. These little sharp burrs got into your shoes, attached themselves to your socks and came through the tarp and through the floor of the tent and directly into your knee right below the patella...OUCH!
As the sun was setting and we were trying to hurry up and get our camp set up, I glanced skyward and saw that the sun was turning the clouds a pink hue that could best be described as cotton candy pink. Emma started jumping towards the clouds to catch the cotton candy in her hands. It was fleeting and only lasted about 2 minutes before the spun-sugar-clouds disappeared.
Lucy helped hammer the stakes into the ground around the tent.
Then we sat around the campfire and cooked brats and s'mores and sang songs.
The coyotes were the predominant soundtrack for our night. They would call in bursts of fierce crying and howling. It sounded like there were young pups trying to imitate the older ones. Something would set them off and they would yelp and holler and call and whine and howl in a big tangled song of frenzied crying. Then they would suddenly stop and leave you wondering if they were busy tracking something or eating or moving. And just as suddenly something would set them off again and their calls were coming from another direction which was disorienting and exciting.
The night was a cool one and we were all very tired. We collapsed onto our sleeping bags which were on top of thin foam, hoping not to get any prickly burrs in our behinds. We fell asleep listening to the frenzy of the coyotes and the calm hoots of the owls. We all got a little cold in the night but camping is best done when the nights are cool. It was absolutely perfect.
The next morning we made breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, coffee and hot chocolate before we set out exploring the nearby beach.
We saw coyote tracks very near our tent.
And creepy buzzards sitting in a dead tree warming their wings with the morning sun before flying away.
We spent quite a bit of time along this beach. It was a great way to spend a Sunday morning.
Emma borrowed the big camera and shot a bunch of pictures of fish skeletons. But the photo I like best of hers is this one.
After exploring the beach we packed up our campsite and headed for the Great Salt Plains.
This salt plain is all that is left of an ocean that was once covering this land. We came here to dig for Selenite Crystals. Are you ready for a science lesson?
is a crystallized form of gypsum. Chemically, it is a hydrous
calcium sulfate. Gypsum is a common mineral that takes on
a great variety of crystal forms and shapes. On the Salt Plains,
the crystals are formed just below the salt encrusted surface.
They are seldom found deeper than 2 feet below the surface.
Crystals take on the characteristics of their environment;
the finer the soil, the more clear the crystals. Iron oxide
in the soil gives the crystals their chocolate brown color.
these crystals form in wet soil, sand and clay particles
are included within the crystal. These particles often form
an "hourglass" shape inside the crystal. This
hourglass shape cannot be found in selenite crystals in
other places of the world; it is only found here at the
Salt Plains of NW Oklahoma.
So we set out on this barren moonscape to dig for crystals.
Boy did we have fun! And did we ever get dirty! We were covered in sand, salt and mud. Lucy had to go potty so I told her to step down into one of the holes someone else had dug. When she did, she started sinking into what appeared to be quick sand. I grabber her arm and started pulling her out right as the mud was up to her ankles. I am afraid she will never use the bathroom outside again. It scared her and scarred her.
Does this remind you of the movie Holes?
I love this picture. It makes it look like Lucy worked really hard this day. When the reality is far from the picture you might be getting from these photographs.
My little scientist was in heaven. She loves geology and going to Utah this summer has fed that curiosity. To bring her here to this salt plain was the perfect trip to foster her love of the earth and rocks. She has a perspective that is beyond her years. She seems to grasp that the earth has a history that is so far beyond human beings. That kind of understanding takes a maturity that usually comes so much later in life.
We found lots of crystals.
(iPhone shot from the ground with focus on the soil right in front of the phone)
We had an amazing weekend. It is another family memory we will treasure. It took a lot more planning than spending the day at the fair, but it was worth all the time and effort.
I am a crafty, science mom. I love to sew, print, bake, knit, iron on,
hot glue and bake. I majored in Chemistry but no longer use it in my
job. Now I just use it in my crafts and bring it up in conversation as
often as possible. I am an anagram, palindrome, word fanatic. I have a
wonderful husband and two little girls who keep me busy. I am a
recovering perfectionist who is trying to accept that life is messy.